A-Z Marathon! Books to both read and burn simultaneously: A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

I read this entire series. Twice. This series just makes you want to kick yourself in the shins multiple times, and curl up somewhere warm and happy while reading it.

I read this series in fourth grade, back when my tastes in books were much different. These books are special to me, though, because The Bad Beginning was actually the first book I had finished in under six hours and stayed up way past my bedtime reading. So, I'll just talk about the series a little bit and why I want to burn the books and display their beautiful covers on my shelves all at once.

• It was so painfully frustrating. My hands are clenching into fists as I'm typing this. These books genuinely put me in a bad mood. Everything was so inconvenient. I don't like when a book is like "I have this crazy plan and it just might work" and then the plan works. I also don't like when a book goes "I have this crazy plan and it just might work" and then at the very end it doesn't work, and all of the build up was for nothing. That happened in one of the books in this series. Also, the adults never understood a single thing the Baudelaire (I read these books in fourth grade, so to this day I still feel the urge to say "Bod-eh-lare") children said. All of these adults lived inside of some sort of mental box that restricted them from actually being sensible and seeing the danger in other people. Count Olaf has a freaking eye tattooed to his ankle. His house is a mess. He hangs out with a gang of theatre people. He's a pretty sketchy person, but do any of the adults care? No. And when he's a in a disguise? The mental box creeps up towards the adults and swallows them whole. The adults only know until it's too late, and nothing good ever happens to the Baudelaire kids. Nothing.
• The first few books are repetitive. Without revealing too much, the second, third, fourth, and parts of the fifth and sixth books in the series are retellings of the first book. After those books, the series takes a turn as the Baudelaire kids begin to take on problems bigger than their own.
• The narration was interesting. I don't know how I really feel about it to this day. The narrator became a character himself, but it made the writing so casually that I almost didn't like it. I believe that in book two, there's an entire page of the word "never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever." I think that one "ever" would get the point across, so I'm kind of surprised that none of Lemony Snicket's editors said "You know, this is a serious book, so maybe we should shorten it a little."
• The backs of the books used to just crack me up. Go to your library and read the back of one of the books in the series. It's hilarious.
• The language. The author used some interesting word choices for the titles. Let's just review the titles.

-The Bad Beginning. A normal title, though it made me apprehensive to start the series.
-The Reptile Room. Okay. This book will be about lizards. Cool.
-The Wide Window. I'm sensing a pattern.
-The Miserable Mill. This was my least favorite book in the series. The title might give you indication.
-The Ersatz Elevator. *le dictionary* (of a product) made or used as a substitute, typically an inferior one, for something else. Okay.
-The Austere Academy. I'm very familiar with the word now, but back in the olden days when I was young, it was such a large and strange word to me. A better title: The Aggravating Academy. The Annoying Academy. The Stupid School. The Frustrating Faculty. The Infuriating Institute.
Sorry. This book just made me so angry.
-The Vile Village. One of the best books in the series, FYI.
-The Hostile Hospital, also known as the book that pumped fear through my veins.
-The Carnivorous Carnival. This one annoyed me. AMBIDEXTROUS PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE TOO!
-The Slippery Slope. I finished this one in a day as well.
-The Grim Grotto. Not my favorite in the series, but still good.
-The Penultimate Peril. Also known as: That book with the chapters that can be read out of order.
-The End. I have a problem with the title of this book. Did you see the pattern in the previous books? Now, I know that The End is a phrase and that it's sort of okay, but I have so many problems with this title. You know how people say to never end anything you write with "The End." That's what Lemony Snicket did, and it didn't turn out so well.

All in all, I enjoyed the series, hated the series, loved the characters, wanted to stab the characters, and felt so asdfghjkl;' at the end of the series with emotions and thoughts about the series that I, to this day, cannot possibly put into words.

All this being said, if you don't mind children's books, I recommend this series.